I’ll never forget the day my life changed forever from one single phone call.
“You have melanoma,” my doctor said. “We need to get you into surgery as soon as possible to remove it.”
And that’s about all I could register.
My mind froze. As the doctor continued to talk, this heavy darkness overcame me and my body started to tremble. Random words and phrases I heard were cancer, no ulceration, lymph nodes, and you’re lucky we caught it early. But I didn’t know what any of this really meant.
All I kept thinking was, this can’t be real. I’m 8 months pregnant. How is this happening to me?
And then we hung up the phone. It was final. I cried more than I think I ever have in my life.
Of course I was angry, screaming into the pillow multiple times as I felt my baby inside of me moving. I knew she felt my panic. I was scared and I feared for her, too.
For the longest time, I tried to seem happy, acting like I wasn’t bothered by what this all meant for my life moving forward. But on the inside, I couldn’t stop thinking, “will it strike again? If so will it be worse?”
These thoughts, along with so many others, were constantly going through my mind, that it started to pull me into a depression like I had never experienced before. Instead of always seeing the positive side of things, I noticed myself always seeing the negative first, as well as other things.
I wasn’t recognizing the person I was becoming and I couldn’t stand it. So, I became determined to fix it.
I decided to start praying differently than I had been before. I asked God to take control; to make this right and help me make sense of it all, asking him to show me what he wanted me to do with all of this.
And then, one day soon after, it hit me. I would use my photography to share with others this horrible cancer. Of course!
And I have to say, it’s amazing how God works. After my diagnosis and up until this point (8 months later) I didn’t want to pick up my camera at all. I was actually starting to think photography was just another passing “creative phase” of mine and I was becoming bored with it.
But He took this talent I had, the talent He gave me and used it for His good. And let me tell you, this was different! I wanted to tell stories with my lens, something I had never done before and I was super intrigued.
Immediately, I started to imagine a slideshow of images telling the story of different women affected by melanoma.